WTF, World: Volume VIII

Last Friday, my girlfriend and I went to the local theatre to see "Juno" (which was a spectacular movie, and I highly recommend it). Joining us were perhaps thirty middle school/early high school kids, who mistakenly thought that, because the film was rated PG-13, its subject matter was aimed at their age base. This failure was largely exhibited when, during the end credits, one of the kids in the front row stood up and yelled "SUCKY MOVIE!"

I'm sure you have the same reaction as I do when you see kids from this age group enter your theatre, and, at one point or another, your thoughts will likely involve the sentence "These fuckers better not hit me with a Jujube." By and large, this demographic is annoying as all hell in movie theaters (and pretty much everywhere else), and the bunch on Friday were no exception. And yes, I am acutely aware that I sound like an old curmudgeon right now.

So I'm going to start off this week's "WTF, World" with a story from Friday instead of a link (oh, but there will be links, too, so don't worry, reader(s)).

• I think I missed the boat on the whole "text messaging" thing. For the most part, I don't have a problem with it, but it's not something I do unless I want to tell multiple people the same thing all at once or I am drunk. Personally, I think it's easier just to call someone instead of engage in a text message conversation with them, but, whatever. Anyway, for many people, it seems that text messaging has gotten way out of hand (okay, I couldn't resist throwing a link in there). This was the case on Friday, where it seemed that not a minute of the movie went by without one of those pipsqueaks having to message someone. Now, what kind of asshat are you if you can't go  five minutes without having to inform, idk, your bff Jill, about some completely inane shit like "OMG TONY IS SO HOTTTTT"? It's not like every single one of these kids has a parent in the hospital and needs to constantly receive updates on their condition. Regardless of the peculiar and annoying ADD-ness of this age group, the text messaging wouldn't otherwise be a problem for the surrounding populace in most places and situations, as it is largely silent. But it's a pain in the ass inside a movie theatre when, besides the screen, it is dark, and, oh look, someone has opened a flip phone two rows up and ITS SCREEN IS BRIGHTER THAN THE GODDAMN SUN and your eyes are almost instinctively drawn away from the screen and towards said bright light. Now picture these bright lights popping up roughly every five minutes during the movie and you have quite the annoyance on your hands. On the plus side, these kids now all know that Tony is hottttt, so at least something good came out of it (and don't get me started on a people-who-add-multiple-short-sounding-consonants-onto-the-end-of-a-word tirade). 
• News Hounds provides us with yet another great Fox News link. According to the brain trust over at that news station, "Cloverfield" is trying to garner box-office success by exploiting 9/11. Kind of like Rudy Giuliani, no?
• Remember the "purity siege" taking place along I-35? Turns out it may not quite be working out as well as planned. The man de-gayed by the lord featured on the "700 Club" has... um... Re-gayed.
• Ron Paul is running for President. Ron Paul is a fairly popular candidate, especially around these here internets. Ron Paul claimed MLK was a gay pedophile and praised former KKK bigwig David Duke. Ron Paul is a douchebag.