I wax nostalgic about the early-to-mid 1990's in the same way baby boomers do about the 1950's. I really have no idea why, but show me some neon fanny packs and I go nuts. So when I stumbled upon the MTV Playlist Channel's erm... "Playlist" program, which featured music videos exclusively from the 1990's, I was glued to the television like something that is attached to something else with a glue-like adhesive. Some of the 15 videos appearing tin the show have held up well over time. Others, well, not so much. Still, it's worth having a look at these bad boys, because what else is the internet for (well, porn, I guess) besides making fun of old pop culture (like the roughly 6.02x10^23 sites that can basically be boiled down to LOL THE 80'S WERE OLD)?
So here is part one of a look back at some of the most awesome videos to come out of the 90's.
Note: I STRONGLY encourage you to watch these videos as you read. Each has a YouTube link. Enjoy.
Snap
This video is a great introduction to just what the early 90's dance/rap craze was all about: hysterical dancing and box haircuts. That pretty much covers it. I used dance/rap because it's difficult to classify songs like this. I mean it seems like a straight dance tune, but then the dude above lays down some sick rhymes. Well, maybe just regular rhymes. Still, he sure does look the part of a rapper, what with his Raiders hat and lines shaved into his hair. On the other hand, the "lyrical Jesse James" also looks just a bit like Theo Huxtable, which can't really help his street cred.
Also, he manages to use the same verse twice in a row. Can he sue himself, then for copying his own "copywritten lyrics so they can't be stolen"? Perhaps this is why we don't hear from Snap anymore. Even though THEY HAVE THE POWER (I kill myself sometimes).
On another note, I'm pretty sure this song appeared on a "Jock Jams" CD, so let's start the count now.
JOCK JAMS COUNT: 1
Onto the next video.
Technotronic
This video must have cost about twenty bucks to produce. It reminds me a whole lot of those "Make Your own Music Video" booths you see at theme parks sometimes, where the end result is basically a video of you singing in front of a changing neon background. Technotronic must have visited Busch Gardens or something.
I firmly believe the point of this video is to induce seizures in all who view it. With the flashing backgrounds and the constant cuts, I strongly urge you to find a wooden spoon to put between your teeth before watching. Maybe crystal meth was involved. Who knows?
Oh and I almost forgot FANNY PACK. THERE IS A FANNY PACK.
Technotronic are a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. I'll jam out to "Move This" any day. I'd probably listen to their greatest hits album, too, if it had more than two tracks.
Looks like we have another "Jock Jams" song.
JOCK JAMS COUNT: 2
Tag Team
This song was huge back in the day. HUGE. I remember when one of my friends called into the local hip-hop/R&B station to request it and actually got on the air, despite the fact that this track had already been played like 17 times in the previous hour. That's how big the song was. Third graders were successfully requesting it.
I love how the two MCs try to look semi-threatening in this video, completely ignoring the fact that they are essentially the Sugarhill Gang, and may or may not have been around 40 years old at the time. OH NO LOOK OUT THEY MAY WHOOMP (HERE IT IS) US
Ed Lover is in this video. See if you can pick him out.
And where's the awkward white person in this video? There she is, right next to Steve. She looks so lost in her tucked-in "WHOOMP THERE IT IS" t-shirt.
Now, someone is wearing a "Free Mike Tyson" T-shirt here. I am pretty much the biggest Tyson sympathizer around (what can I say, I love to see him knock people into bolivian), and even I wouldn't have pulled that shit after he was convicted for rape.
Another Jock Jam? You better believe it.
JOCK JAMS COUNT: 3
Kris Kross
Allow me to throw all the credibility I have as someone who likes rap out the window...
This song holds up pretty well. I am serious. The only difference between this and, say, a song by Das EFX (who I like) is that "Jump" is performed by two kids. Who wear their clothes backwards. Backwards pants. What did they do when they had to urinate? This question still keeps me up at night.
Not many people know that this song was written by Jermaine Dupri. For whatever that's worth. Also, Kris Kross are not twins. I did not know that until now.
For some reason, this is the first non-Jock Jams song on the list. Despite the fact that a key part of the lyrics involve the word "jump", an action employed in pretty much every sport ever.
Ini Kamoze
I am ashamed to say I purchased this album. Just awful. I also know pretty much all the words to this song. My personal favorite lyrics are "extraordinary, just like a strawberry". Someone needs to inform Mr. Kamoze that strawberries are available at, like, any supermarket in the US.
The video features various shots from "Pret a Porter", a movie that absolutely noone ever saw. Evidently Tim Robbins and Julia Roberts were in it, as they can be seen in the music video. Nothing says "rap music" like Tim Robbins and Julia Roberts. Also, there are various shots of Sofia Loren, who has been the answer to the question "Who is the oldest lady you find sexually attractive" for about the last fifty years.
Other than that, there isn't anything particularly remarkable about this video. No Jock Jams here, either, so I'll leave you with a "Here Comes the Hotstepper"-related quote from Giselle, my girlfriend.
GISELLE'S WORDS OF WISDOM: "What the hell! This song won't end!"
NEXT WEEK: PART 2!
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