WTF, World: Volume XXI

It's back, oh lordy, it's back. "WTF, World" Wednesdays have returned!

Let the good times roll.

• The electoral process in America is slowly changing from something designed to express the voice of the people and help change the country for the batter, to, I don't really know... A sport? Reality TV? Who knows, but, at this point, it all looks like a huge fucking joke. One reason is because of jackasses like these people. Seriously, seem to not give a shit about relevant issues or the repercussions of their actions. But hey, when your candidate wins the election, you can celebrate like your team won the Stanley Cup, riot, and rub your rivals faces in the dirt. Fixing the economy, resolving the war, improving our nations' image? Who hives a shit, hippies, we fucking won the election. Aaaaand... scene.
  
• Hey, (Sir Edmund) Hillary, you know what's a good quality for a President? A sense of shame. Evidently she does not understand this, and now she's trying to change the rules to gain the nomination. Again. She reminds me of those kids who, when playing"rock, paper, scissors" would bust out something like "Atomic Bomb" because it blows up everything, even though the game isn't called "rock, paper, scissors, ATOMIC BOMB".
• I gotta give republicans credit. They are excellent at smear tactics. Case in point: Jonesville Church of God (because, according to these people, Jesus is Republican and probably hates black people and/or muslims). "Obama, Osama, hmm..." OH I GET IT THEY ARE SPELLED KIND OF SIMILAR.
• The final WTF for this week goes out to me, who has failed to update the site with any regularity over the past month. Well, that changes now (I hope). Enjoy Friday's super long entry.

WTF, World: Volume VII

It's time to start your new year off right with another "WTF, World" Wednesday.

• Michael Savage... Just an awful person. And yet he has a syndicated radio show with millions of listeners and a best-selling book. His rhetoric is pathetic, but even worse is that, all across America, evidently people agree with statements like "By and large, 90 percent of the people on the Nobel Committee are into child pornography and molestation," and that God caused 9/11 because of an increase in lesbian fertility clinics and sex-change operations. Find more excerpts from this indescribable douchelord here (In retrospect, I didn't need the word "indescribable" there. "Douchelord" describes him perfectly).
• Interesting little diatribe here. There is so much on which I could go off here. The most amusing thing, I think, is that the author (who proves you do not need to be intelligent to get a PhD) asserts that educators should be JAILED for insisting that homeschoolers must follow state-approved standards. Heaven forbid those kids learn something. Also, the author's book has the hilarious title "ISLAM: America's Trojan Horse!". That exclamation point was completely necessary.
• Gotta love this logic from republican Texas state rep Debbie Kimball: Free healthcare, education = THE DEVIL. She probably should have just busted out with "If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population!". I realize this is closed-minded of me, but I think she probably would have attributed that to Scrooge McDuck instead of Charles Dickens, though, so maybe her statement was best left intact.

WTF, World: Volume V

"WTF, World" Wednesdays. They're almost as good as the holiday classic "Jingle All the Way."

But not quite.

For your viewing pleasure, I've scrounged up an extended set of links for this week. Happy Holidays.

• In this week's "This man may be our next president" section, we have Rudy Giuliani. The linked article is quite lengthy, but it does an excellent job of providing some major reasons why he shouldn't be president. Rudy's kind of a loathsome fellow, don't you think? But wait... OMG 9/11 9/11 9/11 RUDY IS A HERO BECAUSE HE GOT UP THERE WITH THAT BULLHORN AND SAID THINGS 9/11 9/11!!!1111!!!9/11!!!

• There is something terribly wrong with this. Now I don't enjoy Rick Reilly's writing personally, but, then again, neither does anyone else I know. I'm not doubting his credentials or skills as a writer here. Still, for 3.4 million bucks each year, his articles better come with a free flying car. Even the low estimate for his projected salary ($400K/yr) is ridiculous money for someone who writes between 500-1,000 words per week. Evidently there's an audience for him somewhere. I guess there's some land where people just eat up mildly-but-not-really-funny human interest pieces about golf or America's pastime (racism and pie) or some other bubkis. Then again, I shouldn't talk. I just delved into the all-important subject of "The Guy Who Wrote the Songs for TGIF." However, I am also compensated for this to the tune of zero dollars, so it evens out.

• The more dangerous 10-year olds we can put behind bars the better, I say. This story must have involved the perfect storm of douchebags, as these people had nothing better to do than to prosecute a child to the fullest extent of the law. Jeez, McNulty went after Stringer Bell in The Wire with less voracity. The whole situation is absolutely insane to me. Nowhere in the chain of command did anyone say "It's a 10-year old cutting food, we'll be okay" and let it slide. Nope, they had to haul her ass off to juvie and charge her with a felony. And our schools are now a little bit safer.

• An even bigger threat to public safety than 10-year olds is baggy clothes. I know sagging looks stupid, but wasting our tax money and officers' time policing peoples' pants is even more ridiculous. The people of Delacambre, Louisiana don't feel the same way, however. Good luck with that.

• It being Christmas season and all, it's time for conservatives to flip out over the so-called "War on Christmas." We lost a lot of good men in that war. This year, former White House spokesperson Tony Snow has extended this war to a more ominous "WAR ON GOD" (dun dun dunnnnn). As far as I understand, God has declared war on people like me, who work at colleges (and therefore MUST be heathens/atheists/sodomists) and believe in that whole "separation of church and state" thing. I'm screwed in this war because God can shoot lightning bolts and stuff, and what am I gonna do, chemistry him?

WTF, World: Volume III

Earlier this week, I was appealed to take a minute out of my busy day and think about giving to the poor and needy. 

I had no idea Boston University was so badly-off. 

And so begins another installment of "WTF, World", your Wednesday guide to all the crap you wish didn't happen.

• Listen, it's okay that Neo-Nazis are infiltrating our military and prepping for the coming "race war" (My money's on a decisive joint Eskimo/Narwhal victory). Just make sure no gays sign up, because, you know, buttsex is icky. I think the most poignant, logical comment on the don't-ask-don't-tell policy has come from presidential hopeful and renowned asshat Mitt Romney, who noted the following:

"This is not that time [to let gay people serve]. We're in the middle of a war."

 

Bravo. Game, set, match, my good man.

• In the future, when kids write reports on objective journalism, they'll surely come across this giant in the industry. Of course, by Gibson's own estimation, those darned Hispanics will have out-birthed us Anglo-Americans by then, so those reports will be in Spanish. And probably written in flying cars, each packed with like 50 sombrero-wearing kids (OMG OFFENSIVE MEXICAN STEREOTYPE CARLOS MENCIA LOL. I GUESS I'M JUST TOO REEEAAL FOR YOU, HOMES).

• What's the matter with kids today? Oh, right. Rickets, caused partially by not enough outdoor exercise. Seriously, just go out and play like every other generation. If I see one more fat-assed munchkin sitting around playing a hand-held video game on a beautiful day, I'm going to lose it. You know kids have a problem when it is necessary to make "play outside" commercials (That linked PSA is probably my favorite commercial ever. Not to sound all sappy, but it always reminds me of the fun I had playing games outside as a kid. Plus, they're playing WITH THE DAMN SUN. And the song is awesome, too. I just can't say enough about that PSA. And yet it is only necessary because kids are lazy fatasses nowadays).

WTF, World: Volume II

First off, I apologize for the lack of update last Friday. I'm sure all three readers of this site were most upset. Back to normal schedule this week, starting with the second installment of "WTF, World."

You'll probably notice a trend in that things that piss me off. Usually it's the sports media and people who try to force religion into science/politics (Note: I am both religious and a scientist but NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET).

First off this week is this excellent example of why I hate many mainstream sports journalists. I love how Conlin covers his tracks by busting out with, essentially, "My pro-Hitler comment was okay because I have Jewish friends." But just as importantly, the dude completely lost his mind because OH NO SOMEBODY DISAGREED WITH HIM ABOUT SPORTS. The whole saga is handled beautifully by The Dugout (which is probably one of the reasons the internet was created by Al Gore and Pete Townshend).

Thanks to RationalWiki for this bad boy from the New York Times. This article makes both PhDs AND URI grads look bad. Awesome. My personal fave, though, is the section dealing with the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Ky (which received over 250,000 visitors in 6 months OMGWTFBBQBACON). Here's a quote:

The museum sends the message that belief in a young earth is the only way to salvation. The failure to understand Genesis is literally “undermining the entire word of God,” Ken Ham, the founder of Answers in Genesis, says in a video. The collapse of Christianity believed to result from that failure is drawn out in a series of exhibits: school shootings, gay marriage, drugs, porn and pregnant teens. At the same time, it presents biblical literalism as perfectly defensible science.

If bible literalism must be heeded, why aren't the people behind this museum growing out their beards and stoning adulterers? OH SHIT GOD HATES YOU NOW.

And finally, I realize that this document (pdf) is a little thick, but the key thing here is that Michael Vick killed dogs "by various methods, including hanging and drowning." It's old news, but Vick and his accomplices are just fucking despicable. This story pisses me off on so many levels that I can't adequately describe it without going into a several thousand word diatribe. I also hate the whole "He's being crucified because he's a black athlete" bullshit. Just stop. I don't care if your name is "Ron Mexico," such cruelty to animals is always wrong.

WTF, World: Volume I

I've decided to make Wednesdays "WTF, World" day here on I Got Words. Each week I'll try to post a few links that, in general, frustrate me to the point where I have a minor aneurysm. The principle behind this is similar to when I used to watch "Rich Girls," even though I knew it would piss me off. It's difficult to explain, but, hopefully, you catch my drift.

These people are in charge of the science education for an entire county. Evidently science shouldn't be taught properly in Polk County because some concepts "[cross] the line" for Christians. Props to Brenda Reddout, though, who personally believes in intelligent design but doesn't want it taught in schools because of that whole "Separation of Church and State" thing.

Evidently, this article is good enough for a major media outlet. Just utter tripe from Jim Caple. I've been getting fed up with ESPN for the past few years now, and finally snapped with the whole "Who's Now" crapfest. My feelings about this one have absolutely nothing to do with me being a Revs fan, either. This piece is just plain old lazy. Caple needs to realize he's getting paid to write and put some effort into his work besides "Making boring quotes with fake names based on Metro Boston geographic and social terms." My writing isn't so great either, but, then again, I don't get paid for it.

Wow. Just Wow. I forgot that this man's word regarding scientific principles is more reliable than that of thousands upon thousands of scientists. A brief rundown here. Dinosaurs=dragons. Plants didn't die during Noah's flood because the water wasn't stirred enough. Radioactive dating doesn't work because C-14 dating can't accurately measure the age of dinosaur... I mean dragon... bones. The last one holds a special piece in my heart because this man clearly doesn't understand the principles of radiometric dating, but can pretend to because the bulk of the public doesn't, either. I could go on and on about this one, but I'd just be filling up your screen with acres of boring text (like my man Caple above). I'm also, evidently, part of some super secret cabal of scientists who try to convert America to atheism and sponge up research funds.