'Tis the season to be sharing, Fred.

Christmas has kind of an odd impact on people, and every year during this time, we're exposed to things running the gamut from awful to awesome.

This juxtaposition is present almost everywhere. On TV, there are great shows and movies like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" mixed with awful tripe like "The Santa Clause 18: Christmas Coup" (I think this is the one where the elves attempt to overthrow Santa, and just when they're about to execute Tim Allen he is saved by Richard Karn and Scrooge McDuck or something). On the radio, "Do They Know It's Christmas" is countered by uber-dramatic Josh Groban. In stores, people give generously to bell-ringing Salvation Army volunteers and then get into rugby scrums over dolls and action figures (thus spawning Festivus). Beautiful and horrible all in one. Christmas is, by far, my favorite holiday and the season is my favorite time of year. But there are some things about it that just need to change.

I think that the real despicable thing about Christmas season nowadays is the incessant bitching about the "War on Christmas," where secular liberals like myself are, supposedly, trying to eliminate the holiday and kill God. Political pundits spend hours on this topic, spewing hatred and creating divisiveness in a time of year where, normally, warmth and togetherness are paramount. One can't say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," because doing so makes 8-pounds 6-ounces baby Jesus cry.  According to these pundits, taking the nativity off the town hall lawn ruins Christmas for everyone and ultimately results in the disappearance of the holiday from our lives. 

Honestly, if your enthusiasm for Christmas hinges solely on whether or not public buildings display religious symbols, it's time to rethink your priorities. Barring agents sliding down the chimney to stop us, keeping the public sphere secular isn't going to wipe the holiday off the map. This is largely because, despite the fact that over a billion worldwide hold the similar beliefs that spawned it, Christmas is a very personal holiday, celebrated by families, friends, and individuals. Yes, most Christians commemorate Christmas because it represents the birth of our lord, but, to me, Christmas holds meaning even beyond that.

So what does Christmas mean to me? Personally, I think it's a time of year to express care and affection more genuine than the schmaltz of Valentine's Day. Sorry to sound all sappy, but if you look around during Christmas, love is everywhere (Not just the OOOH I'M IN LOVE stuff from chick flicks. I'm thinking more of the "how good parents feel about their children" way). If you're looking at Christmas from a strictly religious standpoint, Christmas is the day God expressed his love for all of us. It's right there in John 3:16 (Yes, I'm quoting scripture. I can't believe it either):

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son..."

Oh, and that guy Jesus, he preached love as well. Love your neighbor or something like that. I'm no theologian, but I'm pretty sure Jesus was all about caring.

Even if you don't really have anything to do with religion on Christmas, the holiday still involves affection somehow. Think of your favorite Christmas memories. If they're of some special gift you received once upon a time, guess what? Whoever gave you that gift did so because they genuinely care for you and wanted to make you happy. Maybe your best Christmas memory involves your family. I'm sure that whole "love" thing must come up there in some way, too. It's everywhere during Christmastime (Unless your best memory is of killing a hooker with a claw hammer, in which case you're WAY off in your interpretation of the meaning of Christmas). 

There is a reason the phrase "holiday cheer" exists. Christmas provides us with a time to be benevolent and generous to others without feeling vulnerable or embarrassed. Oftentimes we miss out on this and instead are petty towards others or annoyed by things we cannot control. The lack of "Merry Christmas" signs on city buildings isn't going to change the holiday's meaning, and it isn't going to remove Christmas from your personal life. Only you can do that. 

As Jay-Z so eloquently stated, "what you eat don't make me shit" (Talk about gospel!). How others deal with Christmas shouldn't have any bearing on its meaning to you. The significance of Christmas shouldn't be affected because the White House now displays a "holiday tree" instead of a Christmas one. Nor should the saying "happy holidays" be seen as an attempt to remove Christmas form your life. And just as gay marriage hasn't destroyed male-female wedlock, non-Christians' celebration of the holiday hasn't destroyed Christmas, either. Letting such things bother you only serves to affect your own life. Christmas will still go on. 

There is no war on Christmas. It only exists if you create it yourself.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

P.S. Oh, and if you are Jewish, happy week-after-Hanukkah. If you celebrate Kwanzaa, happy (merry?) Kwanzaa to you, too.

P.P.S. If you are wondering where the title of this article came from, look here. HO-HO-HO I'M HU-HU-HUNGRY!

WTF, World: Volume V

"WTF, World" Wednesdays. They're almost as good as the holiday classic "Jingle All the Way."

But not quite.

For your viewing pleasure, I've scrounged up an extended set of links for this week. Happy Holidays.

• In this week's "This man may be our next president" section, we have Rudy Giuliani. The linked article is quite lengthy, but it does an excellent job of providing some major reasons why he shouldn't be president. Rudy's kind of a loathsome fellow, don't you think? But wait... OMG 9/11 9/11 9/11 RUDY IS A HERO BECAUSE HE GOT UP THERE WITH THAT BULLHORN AND SAID THINGS 9/11 9/11!!!1111!!!9/11!!!

• There is something terribly wrong with this. Now I don't enjoy Rick Reilly's writing personally, but, then again, neither does anyone else I know. I'm not doubting his credentials or skills as a writer here. Still, for 3.4 million bucks each year, his articles better come with a free flying car. Even the low estimate for his projected salary ($400K/yr) is ridiculous money for someone who writes between 500-1,000 words per week. Evidently there's an audience for him somewhere. I guess there's some land where people just eat up mildly-but-not-really-funny human interest pieces about golf or America's pastime (racism and pie) or some other bubkis. Then again, I shouldn't talk. I just delved into the all-important subject of "The Guy Who Wrote the Songs for TGIF." However, I am also compensated for this to the tune of zero dollars, so it evens out.

• The more dangerous 10-year olds we can put behind bars the better, I say. This story must have involved the perfect storm of douchebags, as these people had nothing better to do than to prosecute a child to the fullest extent of the law. Jeez, McNulty went after Stringer Bell in The Wire with less voracity. The whole situation is absolutely insane to me. Nowhere in the chain of command did anyone say "It's a 10-year old cutting food, we'll be okay" and let it slide. Nope, they had to haul her ass off to juvie and charge her with a felony. And our schools are now a little bit safer.

• An even bigger threat to public safety than 10-year olds is baggy clothes. I know sagging looks stupid, but wasting our tax money and officers' time policing peoples' pants is even more ridiculous. The people of Delacambre, Louisiana don't feel the same way, however. Good luck with that.

• It being Christmas season and all, it's time for conservatives to flip out over the so-called "War on Christmas." We lost a lot of good men in that war. This year, former White House spokesperson Tony Snow has extended this war to a more ominous "WAR ON GOD" (dun dun dunnnnn). As far as I understand, God has declared war on people like me, who work at colleges (and therefore MUST be heathens/atheists/sodomists) and believe in that whole "separation of church and state" thing. I'm screwed in this war because God can shoot lightning bolts and stuff, and what am I gonna do, chemistry him?