One of the shiny new features of the revamped I Got Words is the Newsmaker Minute. Every other Tuesday, the IGW staff will sit down with a topical celebrity and pick their minds on a range of issues. This week, the IGW staff interviewed Béla Károlyi, former Olympic gymnastics coach and current commentator for NBC.
I Got Words: Hi there, Mr. Károlyi. How are you adjusting to life since the Olympics ended? Do you feel a little like a kid on the day after Christmas?
Béla Károlyi: Hello there. I had recovered, but now my dreams again have been trampled by a thousand enraged rhinoceroses.
IGW: …You still feel that the women’s US team was robbed of the gold?
BK: No, no. This very morning, I discovered happiness once again. A magnificent halo of glorious wheat and rye fit for Zeus himself, sprinkled with heavenly bits of succulence! And gracing its crest, a rich and wonderful substance that must have come from the greatest bovines the world has ever seen!
IGW: … Béla, are you talking about a sesame bagel with cream cheese?
BK: But such a bagel with cream cheese! That first bite, I thought I was in heaven. An epic moment in eating, reminiscent of the greatest moments of your life, like the birth of your first child, or your first sniff of cocaine.
IGW: Wait, what—
BK: But then, tragedy! Oh, has anyone ever known such pain? My arm was cruelly bumped, and that heavenly hemisphere flew forth from my hands and fell to a terrible landing upon the floor. Had it landed on the other side, the performance might have been salvaged, but no! It came to rest face down.
IGW: Stuck the landing?
BK: Ah, I weep to remember--
IGW: Here’s a tissue…
BK: What might have been… What heights it could have climbed, we will never know!
At this point, Mr. Károlyi became inconsolable and we elected to terminate the interview. Hopefully, this segment will go better next time.
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