Do They Make Pink Celtics Jerseys?

This morning , the Boston Globe posted an article stating that all but a few hundred of this season's Boston Celtics tickets have been sold. Obviously, this is a great thing for the franchise, as more tickets sold means more money, and the team once again gets to perform in front of a packed house full of rowdy, drunken, Massholes ("Yah Doods" would also have worked there, if you're keeping score at home). Some of these new ticketholders may be able to identify Rajon Rondo. Others may even be sober enough to drive.

Where were these people last year? Oh, right. They were at home going nuts about Red Sox trade/free agent rumors and making claims like "The Celtics have become irrelevant." Nowadays, it's nearly impossible to turn your head without seeing someone going "OMG KEVIN GARNETT!" (Note: I tend to shout this myself). Merchandise sales have boomed, as tons of people are rapidly shopping for the latest and greatest Celtics jerseys to match their pastel Red Sox hats.

Frankly, I'm a little bitter. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely NO WAY I want last year's squad back, and I am absolutely desperate to see the team hoist a 17th banner up to the rafters of the hallowed... erm... TD Banknorth Garden (which I, for some reason,  still call the FleetCenter), but I could do without the bandwagon fans (press included).

Admittedly, I am quite new to having bandwagon fans follow my team, as, traditionally, every team I support blows. The Celtics last won a championship when I was 2 years old. The Bruins and Orioles (My dad raised me as an O's fan because, evidently, he wanted me to become jaded and eventually hate baseball. Mission accomplished.) haven't won one in my lifetime. The 49ers (Again, a product of my father's influence) were quite successful when I was too young to appreciate it, and have since spectacularly fallen from grace. Save a few anomalies, for about the last 10 years, the results of all four of these teams have oscillated somewhere between "awful" and "heartbreaking." As such, the only fans of these teams I have come into contact with have been of the diehard sort. 

I've tried to pinpoint the source of my frustration towards bandwagon fans, and the best I could do was to develop an analogy.

CAT:KITTEN::FRANK LAMBERT:?

A. J.T.

B. MARK

C. CODY

D. DAMMIT SCOTT NOT ANOTHER "STEP BY STEP" REFERENCE

Wait, that's not it (the answer is 'A', by the way).  Here we go.

Let's say you're restoring a car. Over a long period of time, you invest a lot of time and energy (and usually money) into this process. Sometimes things go well, and other times they don't, but it's your car, and you love (hopefully in a platonic sense) that thing. After all of your effort, the car ends up looking, sounding, and driving great. Obviously, you, and anyone else who helped work on the car will take great pride in this fact and celebrate accordingly. At this point, someone else, who used to remark at how ugly the old car was, notices the finished product and asks to be taken for a ride. Although you may be driving, and it is you who restored the car, this other person spends the ride cheering, leaning out the window screaming "YEAH, BABY, OUR CAR RULES!", and, for some reason, clapping thundersticks together. This other person starts chatting people up about how awesome "his" car is and how he has "been there from the beginning," even though he had never invested nearly an iota of what you had into that car. After some time, he now drives the car with you as the passenger, and you continue to put your energy into keeping it running. Eventually, he takes the car out with his other friends enough to the point where you no longer have the opportunity to drive it. You still work on it at night, and continue to bask in the glow of your shiny automobile, but most of the time you can now only admire it from afar. Eventually, the car begins to break down while the other person drives it. They move on, forgetting about the car, but you are still there, ready to put your energy back into making it great again.

Hence, now I can't get C's tickets because some jackass is driving my car.

In the end, you are free to support whatever team you want, and it wouldn't be right to stop you. But diehard fans put a lot into their teams, and it's tough, from our perspective, to accept bandwagon fans who only show up for the good times. 

Especially when they buy up all our tickets.