To the best of my knowledge, we (and by "we" I mean Southern Rhode Island) are supposed to be hit by something resembling Hurricane Noel tomorrow. The reception by the area's meteorologists has been, at best, apathetic. Here's an actual quote from NBC 10, the local NB affiliate, regarding tomorrow's forecast.
"Friday will be the calm before the storm as we are watching now Hurricane Noel move north - parallel to the East coast. We will likely see a very gusty wind Saturday and there is a high potential for periods of heavy rain particularly from Narragansett Bay eastward through the Cape. ALSO: DON'T FORGET TO TURN THE CLOCKS BACK ONE HOUR SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING."
Note: I did not add the caps at the end of that passage.
In other words,
A hurricane is coming BUT REMEMBER TO PUT YOUR CLOCKS BACK BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL WAKE UP AND YOUR CLOCK WILL BE WRONG AND YOU WILL FEEL LIKE AN ASS.
Thank you, NBC 10.
Now I realize this isn't necessarily the most devastating storm, but it isn't that often we see something even remotely tropical in these parts. This is, unless you count the radio commercials for anything involving Block Island, Martha's Vineyard, or Nantucket, which inevitably feature Caribbean music even though it is probably fifty degrees and rainy there right now.
The last time one of these storms hit land around here, I was playing high school football. School was cancelled that day, but we still had practice, because ONLY MEN WITH VAGINAS DO NOT PRACTICE DUE TO SOMETHING AS SISSY AS A TROPICAL STORM. As I was not, and am not, a hermaphrodite or post-op tranny, you better believe I showed up to practice that day and participated in drills with goals like "Get a Concussion" with great aplomb (Seeing as I use the word "aplomb," it's pretty obvious why my football career did not last beyond my sophomore year). At that point, I should have realized that folks around here just don't give a shit about tropical storms, thus negating the reason for this post.
I guess I'll see meteorologist Kelly Bates at football practice tomorrow.
-Scott
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