WTF, World: Volume V

"WTF, World" Wednesdays. They're almost as good as the holiday classic "Jingle All the Way."

But not quite.

For your viewing pleasure, I've scrounged up an extended set of links for this week. Happy Holidays.

• In this week's "This man may be our next president" section, we have Rudy Giuliani. The linked article is quite lengthy, but it does an excellent job of providing some major reasons why he shouldn't be president. Rudy's kind of a loathsome fellow, don't you think? But wait... OMG 9/11 9/11 9/11 RUDY IS A HERO BECAUSE HE GOT UP THERE WITH THAT BULLHORN AND SAID THINGS 9/11 9/11!!!1111!!!9/11!!!

• There is something terribly wrong with this. Now I don't enjoy Rick Reilly's writing personally, but, then again, neither does anyone else I know. I'm not doubting his credentials or skills as a writer here. Still, for 3.4 million bucks each year, his articles better come with a free flying car. Even the low estimate for his projected salary ($400K/yr) is ridiculous money for someone who writes between 500-1,000 words per week. Evidently there's an audience for him somewhere. I guess there's some land where people just eat up mildly-but-not-really-funny human interest pieces about golf or America's pastime (racism and pie) or some other bubkis. Then again, I shouldn't talk. I just delved into the all-important subject of "The Guy Who Wrote the Songs for TGIF." However, I am also compensated for this to the tune of zero dollars, so it evens out.

• The more dangerous 10-year olds we can put behind bars the better, I say. This story must have involved the perfect storm of douchebags, as these people had nothing better to do than to prosecute a child to the fullest extent of the law. Jeez, McNulty went after Stringer Bell in The Wire with less voracity. The whole situation is absolutely insane to me. Nowhere in the chain of command did anyone say "It's a 10-year old cutting food, we'll be okay" and let it slide. Nope, they had to haul her ass off to juvie and charge her with a felony. And our schools are now a little bit safer.

• An even bigger threat to public safety than 10-year olds is baggy clothes. I know sagging looks stupid, but wasting our tax money and officers' time policing peoples' pants is even more ridiculous. The people of Delacambre, Louisiana don't feel the same way, however. Good luck with that.

• It being Christmas season and all, it's time for conservatives to flip out over the so-called "War on Christmas." We lost a lot of good men in that war. This year, former White House spokesperson Tony Snow has extended this war to a more ominous "WAR ON GOD" (dun dun dunnnnn). As far as I understand, God has declared war on people like me, who work at colleges (and therefore MUST be heathens/atheists/sodomists) and believe in that whole "separation of church and state" thing. I'm screwed in this war because God can shoot lightning bolts and stuff, and what am I gonna do, chemistry him?